I
dreamed that on a fight filled night again my being would die of fright
Before
me stood two evil men with weapons drawn for bad intent
And
I could not defend no weapons were at hand
I
sought retreat and arms to gain but none were ready nor to gain
I
hope this dream won't come again
I've
had enough,
I
won't go back,
None
can make me,
None
can take me
I've
had enough,
I
won't go back,
None
can make me,
None
can take me
I
am a dirty canvas of living, missing all the great work dreams and passions
illustrate
Instead
of love floods I drown in hate
For
misery to end I wait
I've
had enough,
I
won't go back,
None
can make me,
None
can take me
At
last I reached my end of broken and here I'm left with every nothing spoken
No
nice words spoken, no nice words in kind
I
fear it may be the final time I won't cross the finish line
My
head, my body, my spirit, my soul
All
incomplete, torn from toll
I
do not wait to die, I choose to.
I've
had enough,
I
won't go back,
None
can make me,
None
can take me
---
Dark are the streets’ nights making your prison as cold
as white light
Blinding the reasons forcing you to walk through the spit
Spit out the fires and your personal treason
Forced bullshit is where you will lie
Smothered in cheese sauce and left to die
---
01/10
Today starts a countdown better than Xmas, Halloween. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, unlike the other holidays observed through a calendar year Halloween is the multi-faceted holiday with a multitudinous spectrum by which we can celebrate; unlike the aristocratic traditions of Xmas and Valentine’s Day where one must observe the strictest exclusivity of practice because we only acknowledge sexual promiscuity and child birth respectively. Unlike Halloween which prides itself in celebrating all things dead across damn near every cultural demographic. Get ready for costumes, candies and horror movies coinciding with real time murders, church burning and a celebrity cameo by Satan. Sharing is scaring.
02/10
Old school themes trump shitty modern memes. Nothing builds the anticipation better than freak weather patterns; a sudden hail storm ripping through the spring foliage is quintessentially offset the afternoon sun quietly melting away the evidence. It is a most incontinent, murder…
The last few years of modern Halloween adaptations stirred the nostalgia within, we long of the weird classics of old. Go retro and be the weird.
03/1005/10
The calm before the storm…
06/10
Mother
Abigail Freemantle : I've
been living right here in Hemmingford Home, Nebraska, all my life. You come see
me, Nick. You and all your friends. You got to hurry, though.
[Nick
turns and Abigail looks up as the sky darkens and lightning flashes]
Mother Abigail Freemantle : There's a storm coming! HIS storm!
Been through two summer thunderstorms and we haven’t reached harvest yet. Trapped inside hell house with a bunch of rain soaked dogs, a few loud as fuck children praying for the power not to go out, dammit…
Fun fact about The Stand: I own a copy of the book, not the TV series box set.
Reliving the nightmares of my youth – math homework; I flunked it once and wouldn’t you know twenty something years later I get to flunk it all over again, the horror is real and its name is Algebra.
07/10
Nostalgia in a traffic jam – Depeche Cure
I often wonder what sounds from earth, travelling through the infinite universe travel the furthest and the clearest and if perhaps intelligent life forms with a cognitive ability to perceive the beauty of music in sound appreciate British rock from the 80s. I like to think the melodic tones of Robert Smith, Dave Gahan, Ian Curtis and Siouxsie Sioux have prevented the untimely demise of our planet by little green mean from ahem!
Alas for every lonely astronaut drifting somewhere out there in space:
Jamming good with Weird and Gilly
And the Spiders from Mars
He played it left hand
But made it too far
Became the special man
Then we were Ziggy's band
The truth is out there
08/10
Darkness brings a failing electrical service provider; when the purge comes I get to enjoy the mood lighting...
09/10
Agro by night, passive aggressive by day. Children are beastly either ways
Tis the plight of parenthood.
10/10
When asked what is the scariest thing you've ever seen I reply, reality.
Our humanity is the reluctant protagonist in the horror of reality. All things considered being alive is a nightmare.
11/10
I skipped leg day at the crematorium, sorry.
12/10
Retirement home for blind guide dogs. As random as a stray bullet but inspired by my imaginary terrorist crisis. Conversations, for me, are similar to hostage negotiations. I need to speak so people hear me, ha ha it's not easy. The skill is understanding and trying to estimate what the other mind is thinking in order to anticipate. Bang, window pane cracks as the sniper makes another head shot. You need to think outside the box before anyone notices the box, hence the retirement home for blind guide dogs. The imagery is random to point of quizzical confusion; you're picturing what a retirement home for blind guide dogs looks like, some are trying to imagine a blind guide dog and still those at the back of the class really want to ask what the hell does one do with a blind guide dog. You're so distracted by this curious concept you didn't notice the SWAT team breach, bang and clear you onto the floor and into restraints. It works better than a superglue sandwich...
13/10
Happy Wednesday 13
14/10
Having mastered the art of observation I am neither envious nor repelled by the post modern living people practice; I envy not that which is pretend. I do enjoy the creep factor my staring generates, people become uncomfortably nervous by an unassuming gaze, modern living expects us to talk constantly, sharing unequivocally self perceived precious pearls of wisdom superimposed over the unending junks of verbal shit smeared all over the internet. I pity these carbon copy, still-in-package collectibles; that’s exactly what they represent inside the global Petri dish. The subconscious ticks are the true tells; fidgeting with the wedding band to advertise unavailability and promote promiscuity simultaneously
15/10 – 20/10
I fear reality most. I do not venture out into the chaos of the world without apprehension and caution because any moment can truly be your last. Snap, the lights go out and we’re part of the relative unknown. What I fear more to returning to my reality; we all escape and we all return, I endorse the most horrid thing known to the human mind is the real world. Often I compare my days to the Divine Comedy; I think Dante wrote that from simple observation. Fiction fails on delivering that gut punch of fear straight to our tenders to knocks us down so the monstrous villain came get us; fear doesn’t work like that. Fear thrives off uncertainty and pop culture comes with spoiler alerts so why do fear the bad guys when I know how the sag ends?
Life don’t work like that; we all fear uncertainty and how it ravishes our emotions. Very few pop culture icons can accurately retell the feeling of fear; true fear you see in the eyes of others, fear of the realization you lost self control for a moment, fear you have fallen and may never get off from the bottom again. Fiction is there to entertain with the ridiculous blood and guts slasher scenes, the laughable poor quality if CGI and the predictability of commercial story-lines. Reality has no credits to roll, you don’t walk out the cinema once the house lights come back on but your harbour that thought as far back in your mind as you can that someday your monsters might return, someday you will relive the waking nightmare, someday you will see your fear in the eyes of others and you will know there is no escaping.
21/10
Browsing for supplies, glad to see the conservative Bible thumping minority has decided, with passive aggressive reluctance, to tolerate Halloween. I walked into a store advertising themed merch and OMG they had in stock. We party like 666 AD, most of the quests have died from consumption or the plague which leaves us with quiet evenings entertaining the children and eating snack food. Honestly haven’t been a costume party in years, cosplay is not Halloween and I don’t do cosplay, but who knows with covid next year’s big theme might be infected zombies wearing surgical masks.
22/10 – 26/10
This was a hard one but we all walk through life in the company of death. We said goodbye to one of our furry familia who took that solo walk with the one in black. It was illness, a pre existing condition that turned terminal will a sudden onset of seizures. It was four painful nights. Farewell Jock, lest we forget.
A tearful farewell said I, the advocate for tradition, decided to keep with tradition. Whiskey and Chumbawamba; my version of remembering the dead includes Tubthumping, we all walk through life, we all walk alone with death and hopefully we all party hard together again in the hereafter.
27/10 – 31/10
It’s a curse. It’s a curse because of what you lose, either by sacrifice or by the upper hand. Shall I start by saying you can either be right or you can be happy; whoever coined that phrase lied.
They will come for you, they always do. They will come to take everything from you and they will leave you with a bitter choice; neither choice favours you.
