Some Days I'm Glad I Live in Africa, Where Anything Goes and the Rules Don't Matter:

Judging by the mad world scale Africa is wasteland nobody gives a continental shit about. I won't defend anymore than I criticize my present environment as a resident in Africa. I will point out some common sense. You can't rush change. You can't force change. You can't un-asshole yourself. Stupid people do stupid things, evident by the modern age excessive documentation of everything all the time but in Africa, for the most part accountability is ignored. But nobody gives a continental shit, let's move on. As an active member of a secret society I am here to observe, because me interacting means certain global genocide. Africa functions by Pavlovian culture, ask the dogs about it. Zero gain for the instant reward sums it up. I think often of the keen observation Pavlov had for his test group, watching for signs in any of the dogs for primitive self realization of let's defy that damn bell and revolt. He no doubtedly corrected his experiment, hopefully without having to shoot the dog. How these clever techniques have fooled the mind of modern society to believing the instant reward comes without gain everytime that device in your hand responds. YouTube brazenly advertises you ring that bell to receive notifications, ding-a-ling. Empty be this lonely planet. I mentioned the rules don't matter and anything goes, that's true as long as you're not seeking freedom. You can't please everyone all the time, there are going to be moments of conflict that sometimes continue on for an age. Honestly if the reward is worth the hassle I encourage you to go for it, you might turn into an asshole but everyone should reach for their dream. Be the rulebreaking rebellious oddity you want to be, but remember their is going to be sacrifice and you decide what price you'll pay. Ultimately a string of shitty choices don't matter much when you look back at them during your victory celebration, however lonely that feeling is I don't really know. I've stomped on a lot of toes, said a ton of crappy things, hurt a lot of feelings and ruined many relationships in my pursuit for success. The results have been minimal.

Camera rolling, Action:

I decided to turn my Friday afternoon into a movie pitch.
Working title - I'm having a three beer day. Deep breath, calm place, let's unfuck the human race.
Opening Narrative: 'Some People are Fucking Rude, for fuck sake. Here's what grinds my gears, assholes. The world is overpopulated with arrogant fucking assholes that I believe belong in global death camps as being an asshole cancels all protection offered by the human rights charter. The root of all evil in the world is the attitude of an asshole.'

Synopsis, as read by the epic voiceover guy: A service technician has three hours to close four service requests avoiding escalation and saving the SLA to keep all the clients satisfied.

Opening shot: me, sprinting across the screen like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, I reach the dispatch counter at the warehouse and in my frantic Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, 'come on, I need my parts, I have to get out of here.'
I grab the boxes, sign the paperwork, check my mobile device for updates then back to the Tom Cruise sprinting. I reach my car, time to drive it like every Fast and Furious film doing my best Vin Diesel pose. Burning rubber at high revs I race from one  parking lot to another. Dodging homeless people at the traffic lights and the annoying car guards I make it to the first site. Shit, the customer is unavailable, I scramble to call my escalation team, I'm not going to miss this SLA damnit, we're good to move on to the next call. More Tom Cruise sprints, Vin Diesel poses and annoying car guards dodged. I make it to the second site when bam, loadshedding strikes and the power goes out. Quick queue the A-Team music as I complete the call successfully despite Eskom. Half way there, my phone beeps and I check my messages, the dispatcher is near panic. "You're not going make it," but I'm on my game and I sprint into the next site, another one in the bag as the clock counts down but I'm not Jack Bauer and that last service call is waiting. Roll the countdown clock. Time slows, there's a montage wanting to play but I don't have time for it because the third act twist is coming. I get to site, I get the job done, I get the signature from the customer and I get gone but wait; the montage reel rolls and I'm thrown back into a highlight reel. I missed something, a crucial plot point but the movie reel shreds the film all grindhouse like and by the time the Foley grip gets the new film can back on we're rolling the credits in time for the cutaway scene. I stop, face the camera and say.
'I'm not good at what I do, I'm fucking exceptional. I beat the clock, job well done but that means nothing because at the end of the day I do what I for me. I don't need your praise, your accolades or your words of encouragement. Stick that up your pipe. Customer appreciation is enough for me.'
Cut to black, beep, beep, beep.

Time Travel Permits:

I received a new company identification card today, it expired several months ago. It got me thinking about expiry dates and what they could represent if we recycled them. An expiration date is a point in time where anytime before that date is good. So when time travel becomes a thing, if it isn't already then please future people the key is a Flux capacitor, all those expired documents and permits and photo ID cards will have use again. Take passports as an example, they're only good for X amount of years and not everyone gets to use them but what if through a overly complicated explanation for traversing the space / time continuum future you travels back to 2005 and realizing you don't have your passport at hand but you can locate the one issued in 2005, ba-da-bing ba-da-boom you are good to go without the hassles of stuff lost in time. My genius knows no bounds, and I keep all my passports past and current. Recycle time, hardly plausible just like recycling. Time travel, lightsabers and hover boards remain in virtual reality for our entertainment but let's prep for potential all the same, some wise person once quoted; rather have something and not need it than not have it when you need it. 

You're Fucked, Have a Nice Day:

I've rewritten this post a fuck load of times, I'm tired and agrevated and uncensored. Technology is going to kills everyone, why?

Social media has made us intolerant. E-commerce has turned us into poor consumers enslaved to a corrupt global economy. AI is making us stupid, bots, chats, algorithms, fuck off all of it. Smart devices have stripped us of humanity, do you think anything matters anymore? 

I'll post my opinion on TWITTER, banned because some fuckwit was offended. I'll share a post on Facebook and get canceled by the idiot police for not being politically correct. Streaming services are saturating the market with evil consumerism, algorithms tell us what to watch, where to shop, when to binge and how  cool this bullshit is. This constant flood of digital garbage lives in your pocket, all the time feeding an addiction like a silent predator feeding off human life. We protest, oppose and fight a common enemy shamelessly and fearlessly. I'm calling it all out, I'm easy to find motherfucker so come get a rightoleous beating. These are my opinions, tough shit if they hurt your feelings. Big corporates are evil, they want to control everything. Disney promotes fascism, Netflix are sore losers because DVD will always be better than streaming, Meta is controlled by the biggest douche in existence and there isn't a single thing on Amazon worth buying that I  couldn't find anywhere else. Wake up people.

Let it be clear this is a letter of intent. I declare to the government and the people of South Africa I can do a better job than they can. Post Apartheid South Africa has fallen on a gradual decline pioneered and executed by greedy and corrupt people who just don't give a shit. Anyone believing their vote can change things is incorrect, get up and do things yourself. Take back South Africa from corrupt ANC assholes selling us out to China and Russia from a handful of magic beans. The ANC protested aggressively against the Apartheid National Party because the people mattered more than the status did. Step aside ANC, you have fucked up enough, we're taking charge to fix it. Governance going forward should be open to anyone, for everyone and without encumbrance. You are South Africa, you matter, do something about it.

PSA

Punch a millennial in the face, keep the world strong.

May the Force be with you:

Recently I traveled around my hometown for a few days, my surreal grand tour through my youth. Things have changed over time, with indifferent feeling I meandered the town observing modern development and encroaching decay as I paid my respects to the OG buildings, businesses and hangouts no longer standing tall. It's a divide in time, that which I fondly remember and what there is now. I may return to the schools I attended, for loyalty and curiosity. I shall miss those restaurants, corner café, Irish pub and peculiar stores I frequented that are no more, they certainly will be missed. Many familiar faces are the ghostly reflections in passing. The familiar feeling remains, same sights, sounds and smells buried in accompany to my fondest memories. I often think my close circle of friends could podcast about our hometown reminisce, we'd laugh a lot and our listening audience would cancel us. With the themes of Middle Earth freshly resurfaced in mind I wonder why the comparison of art and life are indistinguishable. It comes with age, perhaps we only live four ages, perhaps I am hovering near the end my third age approaching the beginning of my fourth age. Who knows, there might podcast material when old friends meet over a pint to remember Tubthumping.

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away...

Finite Hours:

I like numbers, they are a foreign language to me but I like their representation rather than interpretation. Sometimes numbers get weird, we make them that way.
A New York minute, a million bucks, gone in sixty seconds. You have 80,000 hours in your career: 40 hours per week, 50 weeks per year, for 40 years. You can master any skill in 10000 hours: 10000 Hours is 416 Days and 16 Hours. Human lives generally last for 2 billion to 3 billion seconds; the universe is nearly 14 billion years old. But don't feel sad. Life is too short, vacations aren't as long as you remember and 1999 seemed like only yesterday. But you should feel sad. We spend six hours and 57 minutes per day online; On average that's nearly one third of each day. We spend one third of our lives sleeping, 6 - 8 hours each day, motorists in the city spend 136 hours (5.6 days) in rush hour per year. Office hours run 9 - 14 hours per day. Do some math and that's, on average 6 hours asleep, 6 hours online, 9 hours working, 2 hours sitting in traffic; adjusting for overlap 17 of 24 hours each day is wasted, two thirds of your life is dedicated to essential sleep and completing menial tasks with little to zero enjoyment. That being said here is my generic universal go for a walkabout pack filled with survivable stuff: A back pack, I have a CampMaster camper pack designed for day trips that serves my needs complete with high visibility rain cover, loads of straps and zippers and pockets and ultra comfy padding. A knife, rule #9 states don't go anywhere without a knife. The type of travel suggests the type of knife, sometimes I carry more than one of varying size. A good hack would be to carry a wetting stone should you need to sharpen the blade edge. A notebook of some kind, paper variety, with a pen. A length of rope, name one thing you're going to need you're stupid fucking rope for?
Your wallet, it's not the Apocalypse so keep your piss warm Bear Grylls stans you still need money. A cigarette lighter, it makes you look cool. A flashlight, I use a rechargeable model. This will get you around, and it doesn't matter where you go as long as you go. Explore the world around you without the need for gadgetry or technology to facilitate a virtual experience. I of the old guard fight the millennial age of cancel culture because I believe them, at least in attitude, to be wrong. The minds of the foolish are logged in, DM or chat botting right now. Advancement is a gradual embrace and eventual acceptance. We cannot rush through the immediate, that cancels enjoyment. The reality is nobody can cancel human nature, ever. Intolerance, racism, oppression and regular differences of opinion cannot be canceled. I disagree with religion but none of the gods have been canceled, I disagree with various opinions and practices of the people at Netflix, Facebook and Disney but I haven't started a crusade to cancel any on them. I learned tolerance, a lifelong skill. I voice my opinions that do offend people at times but I defend my opinions too. I have neither a Facebook profile, I did initially but changed my opinion on social media and closed my account. Nor do I have a Netflix or Disney+ account, for the same reason and I exercise no religion. The world still turns and everyone gets to enjoy their own piece of it. Go touch some grass.