The Elder Goth - To the Multiple of Twelve

Prepare to complete homework for the duration of your life, especially when your chosen task is passing the knowledge on to younger impressionable minds. I am incapable of teaching anything, I suppose it's in best interest of the universe. Generally mathematics is a foreign language to me and like a tourist stumbling into non tourist corners of foreign countries I know enough to see me through without serious casualty. This particular go around was Multiplication. Eleven and twelve tables each to the twelfth value memorized fluently I grade school. As an adult you come to realize Multiplication holds its own in daily economics, in South Africa under British rule the currency denominations went to twelve when shillings were popular during the reign of King George as was the metric system standard favoured over the imperial system standard. As a kid I often wondered why this was and who made it so, trying to instill in my nine year old brain the need to know twelve times twelve equals one hundred and forty four because an adult said so was frustrating enough to infuriating levels of rebellious angst I committed to memory the cube root value of 6461 is 9 simply because my Casio digital calculator said so. My question remains, why do South African scholars still learn the eleven and twelve Multiplication tables when the currency is denominated to the value of ten and we measure in using the units of Celsius, meters and grams?

The conversion is no longer required.

The Elder Goth - Word of Curse

Speak not the word of curse or ye shall call forth the fates of doom. I received a classic education in Africa, thank you colonization for bring civilization to the savage wilderness. Unfortunately the digital age decided to bastardise written and spoken communication to gift us with Grammarly,  the official idiot decoder ring. Recently a colleague shared their concerns about the explicit language use on a WhatsApp group chat for, as everyone on the group were informed, idiot is a curse word according to the Grammarly decoder ring update of 2025. Sometimes I wish I was making this up but none on my works of fantasy are deeply creative, Netflix want the series right, somebody call Beyoncé for the lead.

I asked my buddy Google about this.

Hey Google, is the word idiot a curse word?

It is an insult—it means “stupid person”—but it is not offensive enough to be on the list of taboo words. That is, it is not vulgar or profane. For a word to qualify as a swear word, it must have the potential to offend, crossing a cultural line into taboo territory. As a general rule, swear words originate from taboo subjects. This is pretty logical. The topic is off-limits, so the related words aren't meant to be spoken either. The terms idiot, imbecile, moron, and their derivatives were formerly used as technical descriptors in medical, educational, and regulatory contexts. These uses were broadly rejected by the close of the 20th century and are now considered offensive but not words of curse.

Thank you Google. I'll tell what are words of curse; the want of understanding. Having exhausted my good buddy Google I turned to myself for insight. I asked myself, self what other words in Africa are misconstrued by want of understanding?

Irony. There is no word in the languages of Africa for Irony. People simply don't understand it because they don't know it.

Accountabilty. There is not a politician in Africa capable of spelling the word, Accountabilty is hard.

Sarcasm. The want of understanding is often perceived as offensive insult, thus a word of curse.

Common sense. No I'm joking, even idiots have common sense...

The Elder Goth - Of Hare and Fowl

There are certain inalienable truths our species cannot separate from. 

Chapter One:

Paragraph One.

The New Johannesburg.

In the year 2025 Donald Trump, president of the United States of America appoints Elon Musk, the South African billionaire behind SpaceX as a special presidential advisory to the Trump administration. By special presidential order all South African Afrikaaners facing persecution under the ANC government land reappropriation with compensation are granted refugee status in the USA. The California fires of late 2024 cleared the land, we'll circle back to it. Musk, as the founding member of The Doge offers financial incentives to ordinary people for a multitude of reasons including his SpaceX mission to Mars. The temporary shutdown of TikTok services in the United States, unrelated but assuming this is just a test  the disruption in se4vice caused nationwide panic for the brief period. Musk too ventured to shut off the X platform, again this is just a test. The wheels in my mind are turning over these random events, trying for the potential connections without treading too far into conspiracy theories. I envision a scenario of exchange. The Afrikaaners seeking passage west are to bring with them a piece of brick and mortar of the city of Johannesburg. They are travel west to California. They place each piece in exact replica, Essentially rebuilding Johannesburg in America. Some might suggest...

Paragraph Two.

The Cult of Common Sense.

In digital we trust, dependency a must. Society has become a strange landscape of virtual unpleasantness. The separation of civilization is no longer gods or clods, the separation is social media popularity. Society is doom unless you are a devote follower of the many mindless influencers spouting their endless drivel of content to garner those valuable like, share, subscribe and comment tokens to feed the ai algorithm gatekeepers. Going offline is heresy, I'm sure a cyber court will be established to prosecute those regular offenders serving time in Facebook jail for offending the social media secret order. The digital age has altered the mindset of the human race. A mindset I choose not to practice. A practice that will exile you to the furtherest fringes of the known universe. Prepare to be judged.

Paragraph Three.

Do Clowns Taste Funny to Cannibals.

When cannibalism becomes a thing, just to be clear cannibalism happens when the last steakhouse on earth goes out of business, everyone is fair game. I am of the old guard, child of the Analogue Empire, defender of the faith, old fart to the millennial age. Anyone born from 1970 to 1989 came before the technology. We are Generation X. Anyone born 1990 to 1999 is the Y2K generation, if Neo is the one to save humanity from the Matrix start looking for them in this group. Anyone born 2000 onwards are Millennials, children of the modern age who don't know life without the instant gratification of touch screen technology. I'm not denouncing the sub genres, have your alphabet generation classification but consider these three the main groups, I'm tired of trying to fit somewhere between the niche classification of the 80s timeline. I was born in the 80s, raised in the 80s, love the 80s, wish I could go back to the 80s, the beat decade ever. Why?

Life was simple, curious and fun. I am tired of being overexposed to technology because everything has to be availableeverywhere, all the time, all at once. I was here long before computers, smart phones, social media, the internet and AI. I learned valuable life skills. I was taught to use tools, build things with my hands, work with my immediate environment. I was raised outdoors where I could explore and discover. So much of that is lost to the smart phone zombies and their online addictions. I've long stood opposite to this conformist regime, the arrogant and the ignorant, conspirators to betray common sense, abandon conventional wisdom in service of convenience. I fell for the romance initially, the call of the future, I played the game, learned the nature of the beast. The attraction to machines fades over time, repetition loses all meaning, the mind succumbed to boredom, we have entered the age of failure. Moving forward with the advancement of modern technology that is the responsibility of the Millennials. The machines will outlive me, I'm comfortable with that. I may not agree but this is change and change is inevitable. Each to their own, stupidity is protected by the human rights charter. I'm not here to save anyone, I've shown everyone the real world beyond the Matrix. I'm going as far from technology as practically possible. I've moved on, I no longer desire the future. Out of the game. I think the millennial envy comes from the old guard calling the Millennials out on their crap, as we predicted it back in the day. The modern haters are trapped by their self imposed isolated society of digital introverts wanting a complicated future by doing absolutely nothing original. All our creativity is dead, if I were to guess it died in 2004 with the first iPhone. Society has been on a downward spiral since, extremely well documented failings preserved in ridiculous selfies and that tiktok shit. Some of us took the UNABOM approach. Off grid crackpots with an insane ideology to save the planet, living in balance with the natural world and trying to heal the world so we can make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race. When food fails and cannibalism means survival I've got me game plan, I know a few useful things to get me by.

I wonder what plans the pronoun culture know. Do they see more to life beyond the streaming media?

 Do they understand what A.I. represents and how it won't help them?

Do any of them have a five year plan to get by?

Nope.

Should global food security fail during my lifetime I'm turning to cannibalism as the next alternative lifestyle diet plan. I'm dining through the human to answer the curiosity, do clowns taste funny?

Paragraph Four.

The Thanos Scale.

The human race has the natural ability to destroy everything except itself. What if is was a simple snap of the fingers?

How terrible would it be erasing half of all life throughout the known universe?

Thanos presents a compelling argument. People of the modern age are broken. Broken yet functional. Introspection says it's all me, not you. Apologists say it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. Pragmatists agree to throw shit until something sticks. Social media broadcasts successful people are all evil monsters set on global destruction, and they're lizard humanoids. Conspiracy theorists are reliable sources. Google is always correct. History is an opinion. Facts are interpretable because rumours are always true. That is a lot of broken.

Thumbs-up...

That's all I can offer the post mindset. You do you, I'll do me and we'll coexist as humanity. Yet that post mindset reminder finds a way in. I resist the temptation to kill them with puns, kill them with wit, kill them with sarcasm, kill them with kindness and ultimately just kill them. Nope, snap. If I woke up tomorrow with half the human race gone, woo-hoo!

If I woke up tomorrow morning as the last person on Earth I'd smile, take a deep breath and enjoy my cup of coffee. Because:

"We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now qualified to do anything, with nothing.”

Earth needs to cull half of the human population; whether through war, famine, pestilence or death the four horsemen need to up the numbers. Society has become a virus, a virus killing its host. I'm not concerned how the cure works, just that it works. I'm impartial to the selection process, everyone has half chance for survival. I am disheartened by the choice of play the millennial game or die and go away. I think I need to go walkabout.

Paragraph Five.

Another Body.

The following account is inspired by an actual event. Why would the police van be facing the oncoming traffic?

I caught site of the flashing blue and red while merging lanes on the motorway. No signs of tow trucks or slowed traffic to suggest an accident. Wait a minute. There had been an accident. The form draped over with thermal foil lay off the road shoulder, another body. I couldn’t see further than the right hand motionless protruding from beneath the shiny cover. Palm down, fingers relaxed, potential gratuitous violence quietly baking under the thermal cover in the non day sun waiting for the coroner collection.

The Elder Goth - Letters

109 

23/09/2024

I noticed something in South Africa commerce, a strange practice. 

I was shopping at a national retailer recently when upon reaching the cashier I tendered payment in cash. Not unusual but I mostly pay for things electronically. I noticed my change being rounded off to what I conclude is the nearest 0.50 to the total. I know the international standard of rounding off to be the nearest 0.05 to the total. Upon my inquiry the cashier simply shrugged reply of insufficient cash change in their till. Having noticed something I began my observation. Many cashiers at various retailers practice short changing customers paying cash fairly frequently. Some consumers complain, others do not. I tested my theory. Of the ten retailers where I paid cash for my purchases I was short changed four times, forty percent of the time. On the fourth occasion I asked the cashier if it was normal for cashiers to not hold sufficient denominations of change in the registers for cash payments. I was it was normal practice. I asked why that was, I was shrugged off. I further asked if it was acceptable to defraud forty percent of consumers with dishonest practice, withholding change owed is fraud or theft depending on outlook. I was told it's always been done like that and everyone does it that way. When I asked why that is I didn't receive an answer.

251

27/09/2024

An instantaneous nosebleed from the left nostril certainly indicates the onset of Pronoun Tantrum Social Disassociatian. Incurable but only if the left nostril bleeds at least once every other day ending with y. Identification misdiagnosis is trending, your sister is no longer your cousin if their pronoun is not your brother from another mother. Your smart device identifies as sentient as science officially determines thinking as really hard and we shouldn't be thinking so much. An age of everything is made up and the rules no longer matter. Witness society divide itself by I think therefore and I am and you're ignorant, I don't care, whatever...

I certainly hope we break ground on Mars within my lifetime, I can pass in peace having watched Earth breathe a sigh of relief knowing a burden has been lifted, that people rather than pronouns will continue to care for natural balance and living. Let all the digital age crap rebuild version 2.0 on the red planet, away from earth, with nothing to destroy upon arrival. A barren space comparison to their online virtual presence. It's a one way trip, face hug a xenomorph when you land. The analog rebellion.

1306

09/10/2024

Twelve years of formal schooling wasted on me. I am a disappointment to the English speaking world. My appologies to Shakespeare, Yeats, Tolkien and Lovecraft. Please report my abuse on punctuation, my blatant brutality towards adverbs and my inexcusable excess of vocabulary to the Grammer Police. Try me before the Grammarly judicial commity, throw my in stocks, locked, shackled like a man condemned. I face judgement from inferior minds with limited vocation. I refuse to dumb it down for the feeble masses. I was taught by linguists, thespians, passionate protagonists the importance of annunciation, pronunciation and propagation. Were my school books and examination papers not riddled with corrective red pen illustrating my errors?

Death before dishonour, my oath to master the English language, nay shall I break it. 

930

21/10/2024

My dad, bless his soul always told me when it comes to a situation of team dymanic breakdown the fish always rots from the head first. I'm pained by such a breakdown. The team is not the problem, they have their faults but the dynamic functions cohesively. Someone at a Management level is breaking things down. I've seen this play out many times, the ambitious outsider determined to make their mark in the big leagues overshoots trying to make good on overhyped mediocre abilities. A team weathers the storm. It will pass, sometimes you stay and other times you move on. Always go with a clear conscience. When I quietly reflect on these matters I'm again drawn into battle. Fight those standing as my adversary. Stand up when required, oppose injustices, accept your own accountability. Do the right thing. I consider the actions of those I see in opposition to me, are they decent folk?

I think of what pains me most, does it pain them?

When small children cry, it pains my heart. When animals suffer, it pains my spirit. 

What then is required when your opponent has lost their moral compass?

The toxicity is overwhelming, it has the ability to drive you into the darkness. Fight it. My generation was taught to fight for what's right because indifference is the greatest evil you will require the fortitude to see this through to the end. Be it in victory or defeat walk away with a clear conscience.

2410

26/10/2024

Who really gives a shit?

According to online resources there is a generation war being fought online and while I disagree with the defined chronological definitiona listed I'm mildly irritated by their pigeon hole classification. I was born on the 80s raised on 80s culture, I was a teenager in the 90s raging against the machine, a young adult of the millennium uncertain about Y2K and today I'm a miserable old fart constantly complaining about the pronouns. I consider myself Generation X and I define anyone born from 2000 a Millennial, how y'all sub divide the generations is your business. I believe the global shit show started in 2005 when Apple put an iPhone on everyone's pocket and Zuckerberg installed Facebook on all of them. The Generation War had began. I'll simplify things; society is divided into two groups, those born before the creation of Google and those born after the creation of Google. I'm the generation before Google, before smartphone convenience, before digital garbage and before social media. But who really gives a shit?

3110

01/11/2024

Look after yourself.

11

28/11/2024

While driving behind a slow moving combine harvester on a country road I was listening to a podcast about the Gore / Bush presidential election of 2000 when two things came to mind.

The countryside is quite beautiful when I take the time to admire it. This got me thinking about the farrmers in England are heroes. In fact farmers everywhere are the unsung, unappreciated, unassuming heroes dedicated to keeping the world going. Small holdings, large commercial, backyard homesteading, all of it matters.

The other being I don't really care for American politics or the podcast discussing it.