The Elder Goth - \m/

I've noticed an unsettling truth about life very seldom included in the after school special Canon. The older I get the closer to death I feel the reaper's shadow shortens a little bit more with news of someone's passing. When I was a kid people seldom died, the aged relative or family friend either from illness, old age or accident. I equated death equal sadness whether our family pet died or that nice old lady living next door. Children are resolute, I've been upfront and honest about death with my own children. Adults get weird about telling children about dying, my son took a learning experience when we slaughtered chickens on our farm, he ran from the headless zombie chicken that jumped up and chased him across the yard. Death doesn't bother him, zombies bother him a little bit. Learning experience for me was processing death, the older you get the more funerals you attend. 

Grief is usual, it's different for everyone, for me it's three types of grief, each grieve the loss different. Family. The passing of a parent wad the hardest for me.Family death is lasting, the absence of someone who was part of your life. I grieve the loss of my animal family the same way. They are or support structure, knowledge resource, our tribe. Your best childhood memories involve your family.

Friends. Death of friends is tragic grief, I've lost some good friends to mysterious workings of the living universe. The tragedy is sudden, unexpected or confusing. Suicide to end to unspoken pain. Random accident, I don't subscribe to 'when it's your time, it's your time' philosophy, that's not Random. Friendship bonds society. Your best memories as an adult involve your friends.

Our heroes. Everyone wants to leave a lasting legacy to show their impact on the world. We hero worship these people that we never personally interact with as we do family and friends yet they are an equal and meaningful part of our lives. Authors, musicians, filmmakers, artists, the occasional philanthropist, scientists and sporting legends. They reach across time and space in an instant. I remember the first time I heard Black Sabbath on vinyl, I remember when I become a HulkManiac trying to rip through my shirt because damn it brother what were you gonna do when hulkamania came running over you. The recent loss of Hogan and Ozzy hit hard. The icons of my childhood have passed on, may they rest in peace. 

It's like that with death, we grieve, we cry, we appreciate, we remember. 

I believe we are cosmic energy of the known universe. We come from it and we return to it. I also believe there is a Cafe at the end of the universe and we all meet up there.

Memory is the celebration of all who came before us, technology is rather useful for remembering. I have albums crammed full of photographs, hand written letters, ticket stubs, receipts and tokens, certificates and passports. This is how I honour and remember my family and friends.

In equal capacity I have shelfs full of books, DVD titles, CD and vinyl albums, various shirts and merch. This is how I honour and remember my heroes.

Now as I age I'm in the transition from only old people die to I'm attending more funerals than birthday parties. My inner child tears up when the news breaks, my outer adult cherishes the moments more. The digital age allows us instant access to those special moments. We share our memories with the world online forever.

Lest we forget. Thank you and rest easy 🤘🏻