Homesteading - 05

Winter is coming and I swear I'll hogtie and castrate the fool who sings, thinks or hums that idiotic theme song. Cold months on the South Africa homestead are an enduring hardship of fixing things, kind of like the stupid mobile game they keep advertising on the itunes app. It's also snake season so strap on your Aussie bushies because these cobras and rinkhals are huge. Our fowler flocks have gone into production hibernation, we won't see an egg until July if we're really lucky. The garden looks like Chernobyl, well soon enough once the annual South African winter sport season kicks off with burning every patch of veld at minimum twice before our comrade Frost sinks its frozen fingers firmly in and the warmest any of us can feel is our slightly frozen bone marrow. But it's all bad news, we don't care about our runaway brush fires, lets watch Africa burn but It's been unseasonably soaked and you can't burn wet veld despite your best effort. Winter rain is not common for the highveld interior but the frigid April mornings mean our comrades Freeze and Frost are coming. We seldom see snow, it would ruin the cold winter beauty of Africa but the heavy rains have our dams opening their flood gates to ease the near full to capacity, there's something you need to see and experience. The contrast of Fire and Ice.

Then on a random Thursday night the power goes out, political shenanigans at play again and this angers the South African phonetic in my DNA, I'm gatvol of this kak, behoorlik moer uit gestrip vir die poephols so much I spent my evening fumbling around in the dark searching for my sjambok. Best described as a shortened cattle whip, this is a South African learning tool teaching the poor unfortunate soul on the receiving end valuable moral lessons of corrective civil obedience. It's the one thing all South Africans know and fear. Die sjambok is a painmaker, P.K. (Google it), klaar gepraat regmaaker. It's time I upload a few Voetsek videos on YouTube. I personally condone the necessary use of violence when It's required to motivate the idiot masses to stop and rethink their poor life choices. Someone decided to vandalsise and steal electric cabling in a neighbouring town that damaged several poorly maintained sub stations leading to me spending a wet winter night in darkness. Let the world watch an angry man whipping these fools with his sjambok while shouting Voetsek with each blow, one and done. From street thugs to state bureaucrats, sjambok motivation works.

Enough about that, it's a beautiful day out there of sunshine and blue sky so we better get some work done.