The Elder Goth - Silent Appreciation

You're in darkness. Fallen down that hole again. It's cold and you're miserable. The world above and around you is noise, dull sound and motion in your background. It's there like you're here, indifferent. Reaching out from the dark spaces your sadness and anxiety push you, cold clammy hands and flat shoves. Your mind doesn't want to speak, your tongue feels thicker than your lower jaw like the dismal tree roots almost wedged into then outgrown the cracks they grew through. You know the roots aren't out, beyond your in the dark. The edges thereof, wherever they are out there, running smooth and clear they'd offer no outlet. ‘you’re in here again,’ the voice within mumbles, ‘you dug the hole again, fell in didn't you?’

You ignore the taunting, you don't care. You ignore it like the damp patch under your foot. To scratch either would offer a chance to escape but would drown you as the space around you filled. Instead you listen, concentrating until you hear it. Soft comforting sounds, distraction, nostalgia. You lose them as soon as you hear them, fleeting torture. All you can do is wait, the moving pictures of your conscious world continue to play, another day ending in a Y. You wish to abandon the world in its current form, run across infinite open spaces screaming the loudest your lungs are capable of, running until collapse. You want to climb into your warm place of happiness and stay there reminiscing, shielded from the ugly.

Then.

I saw another goth, a baby bat or spooky kid. In spite of my depression session, this is my tribe and despite my normal attire I feel more positive. It wasn't encountering the baby bat or spooky kid, it was where the encounter occurred, the checkout counter at Spar. No judgment, no criticism, no bullshit, just another Monday afternoon. Absolute confidence of a baby bat or spooky kid, I nodded in acknowledgement, as an elder goth, aise the freak flag, express your normal because when you know, you know. Let the next generation stand on the shoulders of giants, society is more tolerant so spread your bat wings youngling and fly 💀🤘🏻