Everyday we wait for something to happen. Sommer anything for us to celebrate with the bokke, the brannes and the lekker braaivleis maar the world is so blerry confused right now the we'll by accidents celebrate the wrong stuff. I don't think South Africa is any more kak than those other countries doing blerry stupid things on the social media, dis mos kak everywhere but check this Fifa world cup story, it's not rugby maar the ouens watch it because this one oke at our local bar is fantastical about football he got the whole bar interested, he's in the Scotch guard, gooied een moerse jol everytime Scotland played, sommer drank the blerry bar dry too. He tunes me at half time Bananas Bananas, team South Africa might not do too kak this time. I mean who would have thoughts our team would advance to the knockout rounds, but they did. And who would have thought the fans would celebrate like protesters getting loud enough to start looting, but they did maar moenie worry there wasn't any looting. It was still a scary pair of spectacles to experience. Bokke fans go bos maar I've never seen rugby fans go bananas, nie eers for WP winning the Currie Cup at Loftus. Mense are losing their piggies in celebration, it's amper looting in July because they're genuine happy that something good happened. Not even the undocumented migration protests could spoil the mood. The spirits are very high, lekker man, those blerry vuvuzelas are buzzing everywhere. Maar Oom Neels is not impressed. All the loud noise, singing and vuvuzelas can triggers his bomb shock from the Rhodesia bush wars. Chill Oom Neels, by like the Netflix. South Africa is familiar with positive excitement, we likes it when kak spat from where it be striking the fans, hou my dop en check die kak, that when South Africa makes good history almal run crazy with passion. I can understand Oom Neels, like many other Sour Patch sweeties thinking the celebrations in the streets are another protest about to turn looting want that happens often enough for mense to hit panic buttons for the Armed Response and the CPF's. Maar anyways, it's the trending like the YouTube peoples say so let's make it happen. I propose updating South African culture lifestyles status from BBB to BBBL, net soos the government when the klap their totterkop af with the policy amendments. South Africans are a nation of Bokke, Brannes, Braaivleis and now Looting as bosbefok celebration when almal is proudly South African. Much like the Scotch Guard fans that put road cones on the heads of statues our bananas bananas fans gooi dustbin everywhere, breaks a few street signs and shop windows, maybe carry off a moerse big flat screen TV to watch the next match at their neighbors house. The brannes flows, fists come to blows, the Armed Response arrive, viva South Africa is lekker to be alive. As long as they're happy and enjoying themselves moenie worry it's only for a short time before the kak be coming back again to spat all over the fans, ag shame. Oom Neels watch the SA UK news reports live from the YouTube.
"Yes Derrick it's absolute jubilation this morning across South Africa with news of a historic victory over Korea to advance South Africa to the knockout round of the Fifa world cup for the very first time. People are dancing and singing on their way to work, the streets are bedlam with flags, vuvzellas and Bafana jerseys. Having spoken to some soccer fans here in Johannesburg the chaotic gatherings aren't protest, this is a joyous celebration and I'm assured looting will be kept to a minimum as not to scare the non soccer fans thinking the planned remigration oof undocumented migrations planned for early next week has commenced early. The Mzanzi is trending across social media platforms for the face-off against Canada. Back to you Derrick."
Ja-nee, true story.
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